Greatest Sports Movie Characters

How good are sports films? A View from the Top loves a good sports film almost as much as it loves live sport itself. The genre is split into two camps; films based on a true story and straight out Hollywood fiction.

While there is no doubt films like Remember the Titans, Glory Road and We are Marshall are some of the best sports films of all time, right now we’re going to bring to you the Greatest Fictional Sports Characters of the last twenty years (plus Rocky).

While we might all love Gary Bertier and Julius Campbell keep in mind they haven’t been considered for this list.

I've gone a less than traditional podium finish, with a top two that I am most certain a lot of people won't agree with. But you know what? I don't care. Read the banner above - Often conflicting opinions that are always right. 

As always if you don't agree with AVFTT let me know in the comments at the bottom of the page.

10. Rocky’s Opponents

Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang and Ivan Drago (Tommy Who and Antonio Tarver don’t make the list) are some of the coolest anti-heroes in all of sport. All bad and all beaten by Balboa, they play their role in the huge success of the Rocky franchise. As characters they are impossible to split.

9. Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell Sports Characters

These two play so many great sports characters that you just have to make room for them in the Top Ten but including one over the others just wouldn’t be fair. Adam Sandler's Happy Gilmore and Bobby Boucher paved the way for Ricky Bobby, Jackie Moon and Chazz Michael Michaels of Will Ferrell fame to delight crowds.

8. Rod Tidwell

The Arizona Cardinals wide receiver from the movie Jerry Maguire, Rod Tidwell was a preview of what to expect in the NFL over the next two decades. Tidwell has served as the prototype flamboyant wide receiver as the sports world has watched fiction form fact through the career of Terrell Owens. Hell Chad Ochocinco even admits to modelling his personality on Tidwell.

I am a valuable commodity! I go across the middle! I see a dude coming at me, trying to kill me, I tell myself "Get killed. Catch the ball!' BOO YA! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!

7. Tony D’Amato

Do yourself a favour and watch this speech. By the time this speech ends I’m ready to chew concrete.

6. Patches O’Houlihan

The Tommy Raudonikis of the Dodgeball world mentors the Average Joes in his own unique kind of way. The ever so obvious ‘if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball’ is Patches’ coaching philosophy in a nutshell.

Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.

5. Gordon Bombay

The story is familiar. Man does wrong. Man sentenced to community service and ordered to coach a little league team. Man is changed by the experience. 

While Rod Tidwell might have inspired a generation of brash American footballers the Bombay coached Mighty Ducks actually paved the way for their own professional sports franchise the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim in the NHL. The Bombay coached multi ethnicity and gender Mighty Ducks always find a way to overcome their larger and completely male opponents. 

Bombay and 'The Mighty Ducks'

4. Rocky Balboa

The original underdog Balboa kick started and continues to define the sports film industry. The first sports movie to win an Oscar for Best Picture the Rocky character isn’t the most talented or gracious but he just never stops trying, and that’s why people love him. Routinely voted amongst the Greatest Film Characters of All Time he just misses out on a podium to finish here.

3. Shooter McGavin

If ever there was a sports character I wish existed it is Shooter McGavin. Played to perfection by Christopher McDonald, Shooter is the perfect sports villain - a complete jackass, Shooter would rather see his closest opponent kicked off the Tour then rise to the challenge of beating him. In spite of this Shooter remains one of the most arrogant and charismatic fictional sports character of all time. I would sit and watch Shooter play 18 holes week after week purely for the entertainment value.

2. Kenny ‘Squeak’ Scolari

Squeak is a little bitch and I love him. This is what it means to be a part of a team. Your teammates can put shit on you and its all good, because well you’re on the team. Squeak wasn’t even that good a BASEketball player but he’s the type of morale boosting little bitch you’d want on your team.

#1 Lance Armstrong

Just kidding, Lance Armstrong has nothing to do with sports. He was a drug addict, you know those people that wear lycra and ride bikes from drug clinic to drug clinic, yeah one of them.

#1 Shane Falco

Shane Falco is my favourite sports movie character of all time. I see a lot of myself in Shane Falco. He never made it as a pro - neither did I. He plays quarterback - the American football equivalent of the position I've played most of my life - halfback and well he gets the girl. 

You can’t help but love Shane ‘#16 in your programs #1 in your hearts’ Falco. He’s the College football failure that finds himself cleaning shit off the bottom of boats before the Washington Sentinels call him in after their players go on strike. Finally ‘Footsteps’ Falco gets his chance in the big league.  Danny Bateman  and Nigel Gruff are some other memorable characters from The Replacements but predictably Falco is the hero in the movie’s final game. Just because you know its coming though, doesn't make it any less satisfying.

Why It Has Been A Positive Few Months For The Wests Tigers

On the surface sitting in 15^th position, your marquee player asking for a release and 1/3 of your financial backers withdrawing from the club doesn’t appear all that positive for the Wests Tigers football club. But far from the disaster it appears A View From the Top believes that Tigers fans will eventually look back on 2013 fondly in much the same way South Sydney fans have come to view the 2006 season in which they only one three games.

It’s no secret that A View From the Top has had the Concord Tigers club in its sight over the past 12-18 months. But far from being personal the barbs have been well directed and warranted as the club has lurched from one disaster to the next after starting last season as heavy premiership favourites. The club’s recruitment policy led largely by previous coach Tim Sheens has been nothing short of diabolical failing to address the three weaknesses of an otherwise very strong roster; the front row, halfback and fullback. 

While there are no signs that the clubs recruitment is getting any better, Braith Anasta anyone, the club has had some entirely positive news fortuitously forced upon them by a footballer with delusions of grandeur. Benji Marshall announcing he is leaving the Wests Tigers and Rugby league to chase his All Blacks dream would be like me up and moving to Canada to propose to Kristin Kreuk. In fact I’m backing my smouldering good looks and charm to woo before Smallville’s Lana Lang before Benji makes even a preliminary All Blacks squad. 

It has been said that Benji makes Quade Cooper look like Trevor Gilmeister which is perhaps a little harsh but nonetheless it is not his defence that will be an issue in changing sports but his once fabled attacking arsenal which has been reduced by an injury prone body, diminishing reflexes and the absence of a willingness to commit the defensive line and take a hit while ball playing. Can you imagine how bad he is going to be with the defence in his face all day? I feel sorry for whoever the inside centre is that will be forced to run outside him all day.

For the money that Wests reportedly offered Benji over the next two seasons the simple fact is he isn’t even close to being worth it with Wests roster. Much like Chris Sandow at Parramatta offering such ludicrous money to a front foot half without the forward pack to lay an adequate platform is just plain stupid. On the other hand the new reality for Wests Tigers will be easing some of the games most talented halves into first grade over the next few seasons. 

Benji Marshall has been a wonderful servant to the Wests Tigers club but its time for the club to move on.

Luke Brooks and Mitchell Moses will be Wests next long term halves partners and Benji’s release has already paid dividends in the shape of long term extensions for the two 19 year olds. Brooks is perhaps ready for an introduction to NRL football against the Eels this weekend while Moses with a rangier frame and some injuries this season will probably be in a similar spot around this time next season. 

Next season I see Brooks starting and finishing the season at halfback with Braith Anasta his scrumbase partner and Curtis Sironen moving into the backrow spending time on the edge and ball playing around the ruck. Mitchell Moses will eventually force his way onto the interchange bench and spend the first 12-18 months of his career floating from position to position filling gaps in the outside backs before eventually settling as a fullback or five eighth once Anasta is finished at the club.

While I don’t have a huge opinion of Anasta in 2013 he is a player capable of taking the pressure off Brooks and playing a simple percentage style of football while Brooks settles. Continuing to play Sironen in the halves alongside Brooks would leave Wests short in direction, composure and consistency which are qualities that the experienced Anasta should at least be able to provide to compliment Farah and Brooks. Throwing Brooks and Moses to the wolves early on would be equally as counter-productive. To continue with a Sironen/Anasta halves combination would be a continuation of the Tim Sheens pursuit of an all backrow NRL side that has proved so damaging for the club in recent times. 

If their fans allow themselves to look forward to 2015 the Tigers could put a side on the field that includes Tedesco, Moses, Brooks and Farah in the key spine positions. With the Toyota Cup winning side of 2012 still coming through the ranks and solid first graders such as Curtis Sironen, Aaron Woods, Keith Galloway, Liam Fulton and Chris Lawrence alongside 2013’s breakout players Tim Simona, Marika Koriobete and David Nofoaluma it is not quite as bad for Tigers fans as it is their fellow cellar dwellers the Eels.

Luke Brooks is the future of the Wests Tigers football club and eases the pain of Benji's departure

 Politically the withdrawal of financial backing from Wests Campbelltown Leagues Club in the three way merger is a positive for Wests Tigers if not Rugby League in the Macarthur region. While it is incomprehensible that Wests continue to base themselves in Concord instead of Campbelltown that is a debate for another day. 

The funding hole created by Campbelltown’s withdrawal will be covered by the uber-rich Wests Ashfield club who will also seize Campbelltown’s relinquished seat on the board. Campbelltown have bizarrely voted in line with the Balmain bloc on the joint venture board and it is hoped this structural change at board level will bring parity and an improved sense of togetherness from the two foundation clubs.

While there’s nothing great about being second last and getting lapped most weeks Wests Tigers fans can take heart from the off field circumstances which have them in a good position for an improved 2014 if not 2015 and beyond. 

Much like Russell Crowe and Peter Holmes a Court at South Sydney in 2006 the recent off field changes at the TigPies give reason for their fans to be optimistic of brighter times ahead. All that’s left now is to get their recruitment right and go out and sign their own ‘2006 Roy Asotasi’ to lead the march up the table.  

Weight Watchers Ashes XI

In the spirit of A View From the Top’s recent Rugby League All Star teams comes a new series of cricket sides.

Following a similar structure to the Rugby League sides 11 players will be selected to form two sides, Combined Ashes Representatives vs The Rest of the World, across three categories; Weight Watchers, Rangas and Advanced Hair All Stars. Sides will be selected on a 6-1-4 batsman, wicket-keeper, bowlers ratio.

We get started with the Weight Watchers All Stars.

Weight Watchers Ashes XI

W.G. GRACE

The great English opening batsman is often regarded, statistically at least, as the second greatest batsman of all time. This of course makes him easily the greatest overweight batsman of all time, earning a spot at the top of the order. I’m told he was the first batsman to make a fist of scoring runs all around the wicket from both the front and back foots. Pioneer. Great beard too.

 

Mark TAYLOR

Former Australian captain affectionately nicknamed ‘Tubby’. What else can you say really? Had his best series in 1989 to kick start his own career and Australia’s cricketing revival.

David BOON

Short and stumpy ‘Boony’ grew a life of his own when VB released a set of miniature dolls a few seasons back. Tubby might have scored 700 runs in 1989 but every Aussie knows the Ashes were as good as won on the flight over when he consumed 52 beers on route to England. Legend.

Mike GATTING

Despite a distinguished Test career as England captain and a slew of controversies Gatting will always be remembered for one ball. Played a supporting role in Weight Watchers team mate SK Warne’s “Ball of the Century’. Part of that deliveries mystique was how the hell Warne was able to turn it around Gatting’s overweight body to find the stumps. Trialled as a goalkeeper for Wolverhampton Wanderers as a teenager but was told he was ‘too small and fat’ so turned to cricket.

Darren LEHMANN

New Australia coach Darren ‘Boof’ Lehmann is unlikely to be taking the squad for a fitness session anytime soon and even more unlikely to participate, but in his own right was quite the cricketer. Part of Australia’s dominant era Boof played fewer Tests then he deserved but is a walk up (very slow walk mind you) start to the Weight Watchers sponsored side.

Mark COSGROVE

Coming in at number 6 after Lehmann is a player wrongly referred to as ‘Mini Boof’ early in his career. While he may be of a similar ilk to Lehmann there is nothing mini about Mark Cosgrove. In our backyard we refer to the automatic trampoline fielder as Cozzy because of the similarities in size and movement.

Barry JARMAN

Slim pickings, so to speak, for the role of wicketkeeper and a quick consensus of Internet opinion has Barry Jarman taking the gloves. Challenged by Rod Marsh and Darren Berry but Jarman was no slouch himself captaining Australia for a short period during the 1950’s.

Warwick ARMSTRONG

Considered an all rounder Armstrong makes the side as a bowler. Officially the heaviest cricketer of all time at 22 stone Armstrong will score lower order runs and bowl his leg spinners in tandem with another Australian.

Shane WARNE

The greatest bowler of all time was banned for two years at the peak of his powers for taking a banned diet pill which highlights the issues he battled with weight throughout his career. Cricket Australia once had to send an SOS to Heinz for an emergency package of Baked Beans while Warnie was touring India.

Merv HUGHES

Like Grace and Boon, Hughes combines a bulging waist line with exorbitant facial hair. Merv is still renowned today for his ability to defy his physical appearance and bowl his last ball of the day with as much venom as his first.

Jimmy ORMOND

Only played a handful of Test matches and averages 90 with the ball but his quick retort to a Mark Waugh sledge earns Ormond his place as the second seamer. Mark Waugh is renowned for his ability to sledge from the slip cordon but Ormond quickly put that to rest with his reply, ‘at least I’m the best cricketer in my family’. With all the fat jokes flying around this side will need someone to verbally, at least, take the fight to the opposition.

Players to make the wider Ashes Weight Watchers squad include

Rob KEY

Colin MILBURN

Bill “Fatty” FOULKE

Benjamin AISLABIE - the worst cricketer of the lot. Seriously check him out, a specialist batsman that finished his career with an average of 3.15

Sami PATEL

Eddie Hemmings

The Rest of the World Weight Watchers will be unveiled shortly so hang tight for that one.